Silent Treatment or Discard
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8 Jul A narcissist's silent treatment is one of their favourite games of mind control. It is a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse. Those who have never been subjected to this form of abuse will find it difficult to understand the utter devastation caused by what is sometimes known as mental murder. 18 Nov The silent treatment can be used as an abusive tactic that is the adult narcissist's version of a child's “holding my breath until you give in and give me what I want.” It is one of the most frustrating tactics and can provoke even the most patient person. Depending on the method used, it can make the person on. 8 Dec Since we need fuel during a silent treatment we keep the avenues of communication open but we do not respond. Thus we let you text, ring, drop notes round, send messages through friends and knock at our door. This gives us the fuel. If you have been discarded, we have no need for your fuel anymore.
Silent Treatment is used as a passive aggressive form of communication, to convey contempt, disapproval, and displeasure. Narcissists often use this tactic when you confront them about something they have done wrong. This allows them to place the blame for the situation on you AND allows them to avoid taking any responsibility for their own hurtful or wrong actions, thereby invalidating your feelings.
So, last week I apparently did something wrong. But let me go ALL the way back to the very beginning of this story, and give you the whole picture of what happens when a narcissist hoovers you back into a relationship. Somehow, he figured out that it would indeed, take a miracle for me to give him another chance, so that is exactly what he creates. He starts going to church, several times a week. Get up on stage and make a spectacle of myself while proclaiming how great God has made me now?
Buys a Bible he carries with him everywhere. Seriously, the whole shebang. We had amazing conversations about how things were and how they needed to be and how sorry he was. Seriously, I totally believed him. I believed him so much, I moved back in. I want Giving A Narcissist The Silent Treatment be very clear on this point: I make a conscious choice to stay with him again.
I knew what I was getting in to, and have been waiting and watching his behavior slowly resume his old standard, minus the yelling. That is where the silent treatment comes in. I CHOSE to sacrifice my own wants for my kids until the point where the scales tipped back and it was more harmful for them for us to stay. We are just about at that point and a lot sooner than I expected.
That was a few months ago, and they also told him they would give him a heads up before they showed it, just as a courtesy, and I made VERY clear what a good thing I felt that was and asked every week for the next few weeks if he had heard anything Poems About Good Morning My Love it. Asking so I would know before hand. I empathize with you so so much. I wish you the absolute very best with your goals.
Silent Treatment or Discard
I know how hard it is. It may seem like a small thing in a normal relationship, but not with a Narc. Stay strong, you are doing Giving A Narcissist The Silent Treatment Samantha good for you for getting out. I lived your story for 20 years. I know all about the silent treatment and fake religiosity.
They are truly incapable of love. And life with a narcissist always chaos. I sincerely want you leave him forever. He will cash you in and get a new one. He will Hollow you out and use you up Narcissists are vampires and they will suck you dry. Thank you for your post.
Silent Treatment or Discard? | Knowing the Narcissist
Please continue to share your experiences. It totally validates the rest of us. I love your blog. Thank you for your blog. I feel reassured everytime I read your feelings that my feelings and emotional abuse are not alone. Thank you Narcissist Wife. I used to be like that, before I ended up in this marriage and realized what I was dealing with. They think then if they are strong, they are safe, and if Giving A Narcissist The Silent Treatment ever happens to them, they can just leave, so its nothing to be afraid of.
I am not sure if this will encourage or discourage you. Charming 24 years ago, he was 41 and I was Second marriage, lived together 3 years before we got married.
He fooled me that long! It ended in a domestic shelter with our kids, then 6 and 8. That was 10 years ago, those kids are now 16 and I thought mine would drown in the pool of our Florida home if I had left any sooner. I took the kids to church with me and he too, wanted only a Bible for his birthday just before I left.
He must have known, but he did not give his testimony or get baptized. But I had little children, I had to protect them. He used to hurt my little boy, but there is no real protection.
My permanent restraining order was just a piece of paper. We were safe in the shelter, but we were locked up in there — the fence, the gates, the security — it was scary for all of us.
But not as scary as him. When I was Giving A Narcissist The Silent Treatment Florida, after 7 years divorced and his 1st wife living with him during this time, caring for my children at least they were eating! He still wanted me back.
Not with my fiance or my older son, who was My daughter, almost 13, begged me not to go — she thought I would end up cut into pieces in a 55 gallon drum. What daughter should have a thought like that about her own father?
She has gone through so much. I did not go, but left their things in a storage unit, paid for 30 days, and gave them the key. I did all I could for them. The kids were raised to know Jesus, I did homeschool, and they went to counseling. I think Alateen was very helpful for my daughter, Al-Anon helped me. Not to promote these programs — but to deal with those we cannot control.
And to let things go.
Thank you for your blog. Thank you for this blog. Do the same principles apply for a woman with possibly BPD?. Kind regards in healing. And altho he has told me he is embarrassed not true or he says he is not liking her creepy way that its his Mother and he loves her.
But mostly to trust in God, only through God am I alive today. My verse for the month is Philippians 4: The laws were not in my favor, I could not take my children with me to Minnesota — a long way from Florida.
Many may wonder, how could I leave them? To them, you may not fully realize what goes on behind closed doors. I could not protect them when I did live with him. Now, I can give them support — and I am alive. I am stronger, it has taken me 4 years, but I get better each day. The destruction to the mother in these situations is unbelievable! I do believe it is better for them to have me far away than dead.
I am just a phone call, text, or airline ticket away. They know I love them fiercely and fought and will still fight for them.
Narcissists and the Silent Treatment
The hardest part is watching my 16 year old daughter, who now has to care for her 65 year old father. She has Giving A Narcissist The Silent Treatment cook and clean for him. He even calls her little Elizabeth. I will forward your post to her, he gives her the silent treatment. I had airline tickets for her 2 weeks ago during a school break for 5 days. It was a nightmare, with lawyers, the sheriff, everyone I knew in Florida. That is my own drama. He may have won the battle, but he will lose the war.
We count the days until she is It is so painful. But he will one day answer for all that he has done. How could I leave them?
See, with No Contact, there's nothing. It is not as if you can end a relationship with your child. He has no respect or regard for women, has no loyalty to family, no integrity… I am appalled at his actions and words… Embarrassed at his treatment of people he claims to have loved. The anger is unbllievabee, it sort of reminds me of a former co worker. I would have been a very loving, kind and happy partner, but with a narcissistic partner it beccomes the strings sadly that allows him full control.
Please, I beg you, do not judge. The bleedout has stopped, I am alive and so are the kids. Both of them are excellent students and involved in long term, loving, healthy relationships. They now know the man behind the mask without my interference. They understand why I left. They see me in a happy, loving marriage and truly enjoy visiting here.