How to Stop Being Needy, Clingy, or Dependent - AdviceFromJustin
I've been really struggling with anxiety and being too dependent on my boyfriend (25,M). Some background: I am in .. I'm in therapy right now due to some relationship issues, and one of the first things my therapist had me read was a book called Attached our something like that. Subtitle about the science. 13 Mar Well I guess the title is self-explanatory. I always want to be with my boyfriend - 24/7. I'm just % happier when I'm with him. When I'm at home on my own I just feel bored, unsatisfied and residually depressed. I don't really see a point in doing anything, all I want to do is be with him. I know this may. 2 Mar Hi Pixie -- In my humble opinion, yes. New love is exciting and engrossing, so I can understand why you would feel that way. I think most young people -- and even a lot of old fools who should know better -- go through this. Do you have any healthy interests, such as exercising, walking, or playing a sport.
Everything that is too much is not healthy right? I guess I'm too attached with my current relationship, too dependent, like I already depend my happiness to that person. How would you control this "attachment"? For me personally, I found myself in between breakups. I was alone with myself and I learned what I really wanted and need, my likes and dislikes, goals.
I really focused on myself and it made me more aware of what I needed out of a relationship. Someone to add to my life, not complete it. Because the only person I really need, is me. And I want someone to share my life with.
Perhaps, you can take baby steps to focusing on yourself, while you're still with your partner, if the relationship is going good. Maybe they can be there to support Am I Too Attached To My Boyfriend in your search for yourself. I would love that, love my self first before anyone else, but I don't know yet how to start, first step is always the hardest part of doing something.
How did you do it? I know it's not easy and I salute you for that.
I really appreciate your response, thank you, thank you. I was under my member name when I responded. Well, like I said, I was single at the time.
Do you think you would need some time to yourself to get focused? Would your partner understand that? How do they feel about the attachment between the two of you? The first step that I took, regardless what just sitting down a moment to think.
About anything and everything. The choices I had made, what I could control, and what I could not. It does take time and persistance to become closer to understanding yourself.
If you would like to message me, How To Attract All Women free to send a request and we can discuss this together. For example, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now. At first, I thought, "oh no, once again I'm going to become too attached and start to lose myself But then I thought about it for a while, and then I tried telling myself, "I'm going to make an effort with this relationship- I'm going to really try to maintain my well-being and keep a good balance".
Positive self-talk makes a huge difference, too. If you tell yourself you can do it, you can get that balance, it'll be way easier. Am I Too Attached To My Boyfriend I started to things more for myself. I went on walks, I hung out with friends huge mistake in relationships- you stop seeing your friends as often.
Other relationships are just as important, don't forget about Am I Too Attached To My Boyfriend I worked hard at work, got some more hours. I find that when I do a variety of things, and talk to a variety of people with different personalities and stories, it makes life a lot more interesting and seem I don't know- fuller, I guess you could say?
Variety makes someone a well-rounded person, and you have to try your best to keep that variety in your life! I'm not saying it's easy- I definitely still feel like I'm clingy at times, but it takes time for anything to improve. You just have to stay motivated.
You can do this!! My boyfriend, he even told not to isolate myself in our relationship, that is what he's doing, and I feel like I'm a selfish person because it hurts me whenever he's telling me stories about something and seems like he's happy with his friends, I hate myself for feeling that way, maybe because that is something that I can't do for myself.
I'll try, to focus on my studies more, reach out with my friends and give more attention to myself and my needs and wants. Spend sometime going somewhere without him maybe? Thank you so much for responding guys, I really appreciate it. It's such a relief to have this taken out of my chest and get some ideas from the ones who've experienced it. I love it here 7 cups of tea.! I think you have the right idea. And you have good intentions. You can do things apart. I know that I'm too attached, needy, and dependent in my relationships.
I'm 42 and I should know better. I feel like my whole life has always been about a man. I depend on that for my happiness. I to would love to know how to love myself????? Maybe we should learn to love ourselves first and I guess many of our friends here in 7 cups of tea can really be of big help. What you're saying is- because your BF has cheated on you in the past, you feel a lack of trust so you are clingy with him in an attempt to not have him do the same thing again?
I feel like I would do the exact same thing. I think that's pretty normal I would feel very untrustworthy of him. Well there is a saying that goes, "If you want to know Am I Too Attached To My Boyfriend you can trust someone, trust them. If there ever comes a time where your trust falters and you aren't sure, talk to him! Communication is the KEY.
Try your best not to assume the worst. And with the dependency thing, try to work on your own interests and hobbies, without him and go on vacations without him too. For me, acceptance is the key. Accept that yu are totally different individuals, you both aren't perfect, acceptance of things that he did that led you to mistrust him, accept yourself, accept that everyone of us commit mistakes coz that's what I'm doing now.
If you accept those things, trust comes next, it'll not seem that you are trying so hard to trust someone because once you accepted those things, it will come naturally, smoothly. No matter how hard you try if you are not ready, it's useless.
Attached To Your Guy Quiz - Are You Too Attached
Follow Post to Thread. In Reply To catpower In Reply To Mojojo.
IM TOO ATTACHED TO MY BOYFRIEND
Talk to an expert therapist. In Reply To Ingrid9. In Reply To gg Hi, I'm new to all this and was hoping for a bit of support and advice. I have been in a relationship for four yrs and we have a beautiful daughter together and I want to make it work but Anyone in a similar Am I Too Attached To My Boyfriend Message me if you like x.
In Reply To beaut I'm confident he hasn't cheated but he has broke my trust in lots of other ways on many occasions.
I am very insecure and hate him looking at other women and that causes us to have arguments. It makes it Plenty Of More Fish to do things together.
We mostly sit in the flat with no telly on incase there is a good looking woman on there that may start an argument. I would love to have a life separate from him but I have literally no confidence at all. I just feel stuck and don't know what to do: I was exactly the same as you. My boyfriend has never cheated on me but has hurt me in many other ways. I was so insecure about myself and when we would watch tele or go out i constantly get upset about him looking at other women even if he isnt but i just assume he is.
You HAVE to sit your boyfriend down and talk to him about it, tell him everything. Thats what i did and although i am only getting better slowly things are improving.
I'm sorry You're hurt and confused about His behavior but it's not a good idea for You to move in together if He's being cold and asking for "space". I'm too dependent on my boyfriend and trying to change, please help!! Yes he's really wonderful to me. Ok so we have been together for almost 10 months and im just as in love with him as i was when we first met if not more. I got married last year and we are expecting our first child planned at the end of August.
I am getting more confident and my trust in him is growing. We do a lot more things together now because i dont care about other girls being around, i know that he doesnt see anyone how he sees me.
I can watch tele with him and know that if a naked women came on thats what bothers me he wont look, he just stares at me instead, but he also likes to watch more family based films too because he knows that there is less of a chance of that happening. I used to think that my boyfriend was looking at other women whenever he looked around, but honestly its ALL in the head. If you want to trust your boyfriend then you have to give everything you have in order to, trust me it wont be easy and you're not going to succeed right away, its taken me 8 months just to get to this point.
How to Stop Being Clingy (And Maintain Your Independence in a Relationship)
I still have days where i break down and dont trust him but im getting stronger and so is our relationship. I realised that all the constant arguments just wasnt worth it and thats why i decided to fight it and build my trust again and he has helped me through it all.
I can honestly say now that i believe i am the most beautiful person in his eyes and he really does love me the way i love him.
Go do other things! Avatars by Sterling Adventures. I know it's scary and it takes practice but just keep switching the thought process. He needs hos vacations.
Leoni I'm pleased to here you are doing well in your progress I will definitely try some of your tips.