How to deal with a Control Freak!
How to Deal with a Controlling Spouse: 13 Steps (with Pictures)
9 Jun When you get married you have you may be blinded to the control issues inherent in your partner. You must deal with the situation at hand. Their family and closest friends were usually very honest with them and would tell them that they didn't like their spouse because of the way they were treated, but. 14 Aug Are you being stifled by a controlling partner? Whether he's jealous, paranoid or simply has to be right about everything, here are our essential coping strategies. 4 Apr Individuals we call "control freaks" live by a set of principles and expectations that cause resentments in those close to them. Sadly, they will rarely admit when they are wrong.
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If you have an immediate prayer need, please call our hour prayer line at I receive emails and letters with increasing frequency about abusive control issues and criticism in marriage. Marriages are failing at enormous rates, partially because of a lack of warmth and safety. When it comes to our own faults and foibles, we have myopia. Hawkins, I have been married to my husband for just over 2 years and I left him in April of this year.
He was a 'control freak' and I helped him excel in it.
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He criticized everything I did and nothing I did ever pleased him. I eventually lost myself because I was trying so hard to be what he needed. He is just a negative person. Now I have left and am pregnant 5 months. I stay in prayer but just do not know what to do.
My husband remains bitter, blames me for everything and does not see his fault in any of this. How can I communicate with such a person? It is easy to empathize with this woman. The Control Freak finds it easy to criticize and find fault, often over such minor things. Sadly, the ultimate result in a controlling relationship is, as this reader said, a loss of self.
One cannot thrive and grow in an atmosphere of criticism. One cannot feel safe to be who they were called to be when constantly criticized. Criticism in this manner is abusive and violent.
What can we say to this woman, who now wonders how to let go of bitterness? Is there a way to communicate so he will have insight into his own actions? First, controlling people often do not have an understanding of the impact of their behavior on others. Because of their rampant denial, it usually takes some emergency or crisis before they realize the damage they have done.
Second, you can be part of that breakdown. In other words, you can stop enabling this destructive behavior. Stop explaining your actions or defending yourself. Stop engaging with him in the destructive dance. Third, stop trying to please him or others. It is easy, with a Control Freak, to try to please them, though always falling short. We must not get hooked in the struggle of trying to please others.
We must keep our focus on the Lord and what He wants from us. Approval addiction only hurts us and enables others to control us.
Your relationship must be business-like, and focused on the needs of the child. Finally, should you desire to work things out with him, insist on wise couples counseling.
Watch out for it. They are highly principled, with opinions on everything from how people should hold their fork to Rather, he will probably view you as treasonous. I realized that if I was that stressed out and depressed with planning a wedding, he wasn't for me. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 2.
I suggest you consider going back to him only under the supervision of someone who knows about his control issues, as well as your codependency traits. You both need to be accountable to someone for learning new skills, including taking responsibility for actions. While this situation looks bleak, one person can have a tremendous impact on a relationship. If one person refuses to participate in criticisms, bickering and control, the dance must change. When we develop firm, healthy boundaries, others often learn to treat us with greater respect.
This can happen for you as you learn to treat yourself and others with the respect they deserve.
2. He's the jealous type
Skip to main content. The Christian Broadcasting Network CBN is a global ministry committed to preparing the nations of the world for the coming of Jesus Christ through mass media. Living with a Critical Control Freak. My Mother Makes Me Crazy. Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life. David Hawkins - Marriage Blogger.
Marriage Issues In other languages: He lies and he makes up stories to get people to see his way. Jk3k Submitted by DP85 on March 19, - Healthy, stable relationships have a sense of reciprocity built into them.
This is not a new problem. Being Emotionally Available for Love.
Control Freaks & Abusive Men
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