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A Powerful Tool for Overcoming Fear of Commitment

4 Ways To Overcome A DEBILITATING Fear Of Commitment

They see it as a way of cementing their love. On the other hand, the latter believe that something better is always around the corner and have commitment phobia. . Defensiveness, along with verbal abuse is something that is too difficult for a person to deal with in a relationship. You need to identify a person who is strong . It's an all too common story in the dating world – two people meet, have a great connection, maybe share a kiss or two and before you know it they're 'seeing each other.' Then as things start getting serious, one person starts becoming distant and pulls away, leaving the other hurt and confused. Fear of commitment is a very. 5 Oct The scientific fear of commitment name is gamophobia, and it can affect people of both genders; however, for many women, dating a man with commitment phobia can be frustrating. Women often break off the relationship at the first signs of the problem, but every man is strong enough to deal with this issue.

I have a good friend who hasn't had a girlfriend in the ten years that I've known him. He and I talk a lot about sex and relationships, and half of the time, he cannot keep a straight face, almost like a teenager, embarrassed by our honest, mature conversations. Other times, we have these very insightful conversations about lovelife, and relationships. We talk about the breakdown of monogamy in modern society and the fallacy of marriage — things I love to discuss.

Recently, he admitted that he's afraid of letting his guard down, afraid of rejection, afraid of getting his heart broken into pieces, of liking someone more than she likes him. We always talk about the downsides of relationships, but the bottom line is that while I have been in relationships for the last 20 years, he has been single for at How To Treat Commitment Phobia He is afraid of relationships for very different reasons than I've ever been.

How To Treat Commitment Phobia

Historically, I've been afraid of losing my independence or yielding to someone who takes the relationship and me for granted too soon. He is afraid of rejection. I guess it's the same difference, though. I guess we have all been reluctant to trust others at some time in our lives. But then, more was revealed. I surmised that he went for the less attractive girls to boost his self-esteem so he wouldn't get rejected. He admitted he would give girls his number despite having no intention of ever following up, except perhaps for sex.

His fear of commitment is actually a fear of rejection. Deep down he would love to be loved, appreciated and understood, but he fears rejection from the girls he is most attracted to.

How To Treat Commitment Phobia

So instead, he throws little bits out there to the ones he is really attracted to but then runs away, thereby avoiding rejection. Because single is safe. And, in his case, single has the upper hand.

He has also said that when he falls for someone, he falls really hard, and he doesn't want to be the one who falls harder than the other. I call this a fear of commitment, and he is not alone.

Commitment Phobic: Dealing with Emotionally Unavailable People

Fear of commitment also happens within relationships where one or both partners hold back, refuse to give themselves fully, always wearing their protective shields. What an uncomfortable place to beI think. What a lonely, empty space.

4 Tried And Tested Ways To Cure Commitment-Phobia

Sure, being vulnerable is scary but there is relief in finally letting your guard down. How do I deal with my fear of commitment? It's not an easy journey; it's not something that changes overnight, but with conscious efforts, we can get closer to letting go, closer to surrender. After all, a fear of How To Treat Commitment Phobia is nothing more than a fear of letting oneself go.

This list is not exhaustive and is not How To Treat Commitment Phobia for him; it's for me and everyone else who has held back whether in a relationship or outside of one. This is for everyone who wants a real, supportive, loving relationship that fosters growth and independence, which fosters staying in the present, kindness, safety and peace, and ultimately a relationship which really works for you.

This is so dishonest. Your self-protective, scared-to-death ego with all its games and masks have got the real you buried so deep under all that muck that if the real thing came and knocked on your door, you'd be too messed up to see it or know it.

I must say you are doing a great job. Fear of commitment phobia gets in the way of relationships. In the second part, the direction of the child support payments would reverse during the temporary custody period. I have to say our friendship was great, easy and natural, I was very fond of him but not in love.

What are you telling yourself versus what is going on on a deeper level? Do you constantly compare yourself to your friends in relationships and size them up, comparing your single life to theirs? What purpose does this serve? Are you building a case? Are you doing this solely to make yourself feel better? What do their relationships mean to you? Everyone's idea of relationships may be different. I recognize many people follow the crowd when it comes to monogamous relationships.

I tend to feel suffocated by the expectations based on societal assumptions. And while this may work for many other people, it doesn't work for me, and that is OK. This doesn't mean you have to disregard relationships altogether. Yes, this may mean finding a partner for you is more of a challenge but that is quite a different thing than just saying, How To Treat Commitment Phobia love being single" if it's only half true.

1. Identify the Commitment Phobia

Finding the relationships that work for you may just mean recognizing that you can work towards creating what works for you. It doesn't just happen. Get your self-esteem boost in ways that don't involve other people's feelings. Go to the gym, write a book, join an art class.

What are you good at? What do you love to do? Get out there and do it. Whether people accept you or reject you doesn't change who you are. If what people think about you is something you struggle with, then you a lot less likely to let go. The irony of this is that you are the most critical judge.

I am used to the emotional harassment. Sure, being vulnerable is scary but there is relief in finally letting your guard down. The emotional harassment that I experienced from an unexpected group of people since is very similar to the parental alienation methods described in this book. Went out with a guy when I was younger,thought I fancied him,then stopped taking his calls.

So judge yourself on the things you do have control of. This means eating healthy, possibly avoiding alcohol, drugs, caffeine or sugar, getting exercise, getting fresh air, spending time with caring, kind individuals and, most of all, relaxing.

When you meet someone interesting and you are not catering to your ego, your lies, your self-protective mechanisms and games of shunning all relationships, when you are working on yourself to get what you need, you will naturally be more relaxed, more creative, more of a problem-solver, more at ease and less worried about clinging to your walls.

You're more likely to smile and be yourself. Please visit her website. She is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn. Moushumi is the co-host of The Sex Talka web-series dedicated to sex, dating and relationships.

LoveSelf December 30, For all you commitment phobes out there No Strings Attached, Please: Click to view 20 images. More content from YourTango: